Overdosed?

August 7, 2009

A week ago I should have been traveling to San Fransisco with my daughters. We were going to go to the World Lung Cancer Conference and the girls were to experience San Fransisco for the first time. We didn’t go. I couldn’t even begin pack the first thing.

Several days prior to our scheduled departure, I started having the odd symptoms again. Rapid heart rate, profuse sweating, cold, clammy skin, nausea, vomiting, unable to stand without feeling as though I could pass out. Simple task like taking the dogs for a walk were almost too much to do.  I had worked several days at the hospital prior to this and my first day off I just thought I was exhausted and was in need of rest and sleep. However, this was more than just tiredness. I would sleep, but if I stood up, I would start to sweat, then become nauseated, vomit and feel completely wiped out.

After 3 days of not being able to catch up on my rest, I began to panic about getting ready for this trip. I tried to pack, and would put a couple of things in the suitcase, then have to lay back down before then next wave of nausea took over. My heart rate would be 140 and I was completely shaky.  I kept a paper towel with me to wipe off the sweat before I soaked my clothes.  My daughters offered to come help me pack my suitcase– still I was worried- how would I be able to fly 4 hours, manage in an airport and take a trip to California?

My family and friends wanted me to go to the ER, yet I felt like I couldn’t go because I wasn’t sure what was wrong with me.  Prior tests hadn’t shown anything.  My symptoms were all so odd and I didn’t know where they were coming from.  However, the night before our trip (Last Wednesday) I ended up going in the ER. There they gave me meds to control the vomiting and fluids to re-hydrate me.  That made me feel some better, but the underlying issues were still there.  I had difficulty reading, concentrating. I was shaky, sweating, and felt horrible. We cancelled our trip because I was afraid it would continue throughout the week.

The next several days I researched on line what could be causing my odd symptoms that come and go. I discovered that one of my medicines I use for pain control in patch form is heat sensitive.  I reasoned I was getting an overdose occasionally- or whenever I got hot. I had nearly every symptom of a drug overdose.

SO, I decided to take it off and go through withdrawal. Cold turkey. It was a horrible experience and one I’m not sure I can even describe it now. It felt as though I could feel my blood under the skin move. Noises, even normal conversations sounded loud and irritating. I had sharp electrically impulses running down my legs that caused my legs to jump continuously, especially at night when I would have rather been sleeping. Any outside stimulation seemed to be similar to a strobe light and would come and go, pounding in my head. I had abdominal pain and vomiting and diarrhea.  And after about 3 days of that I began to feel ok again. Wednesday was a good day and by yesterday I think I’m completely through with the withdrawal.

Now, I feel back to normal, my heart rate is normal, no more sweating, nausea.  But my pain is back full force.  I guess I forgot how bad it was. Morning is worse, and it takes a bit to catch up on pain meds enough to be able to be very mobile. It’s a hot, burning pain much like hot coals setting in my chest. Bending and twisting make it worse. Coughing or sneezing make me want to scream. There is a place on my left hip and a similar place on my back that I had forgotten about completely. 

Funny, I forgot how bad the pain was.  How much planning to takes to get through a normal day and much tinkering with medications it takes to do what I want to do. Simple things like going to the grocery now require planning on when to go and timing with appropriate medication. Maybe, its that I just not used to being in this much pain and I have to have some time to re-adjust.

There isn’t a simple answer. What I thought was a good fix… the patch that worked for days at a time with a steady dose of pain medication… cost us a wonderful trip and many days prior lost to overwhelming symptoms and nausea/vomiting/weakness.  Short acting pain meds require constant planning and not so good coverage.

Maybe someday I’ll just wake up and the pain will be gone. Someday.