The Rest of the Story…

July 7, 2009

So I thought my scans were good. And on first glance they were. 

However, the official radiologist’s report came back with a new growth in the left upper lobe, or what is left of it.  It’s a small lesion, less than 1 cm. And it’s close to a scar line. But now that I know it’s there and I can focus on it;  it does looks like my cancer usually looks. We haven’t biopsied it yet, though.

So I guess my theory about the music returning and cancer leaving has been proven to be wrong. Music and cancer can co-exist.

Reflecting back over the last couple of weeks I am amazed at how quickly I grasp at the thought of being cancer free.  Overnight I was convinced that it was over and I would never hear the words “new lesion” again. I knew in my logical mind it wasn’t probable. But my heart and emotions won out and I gladly believed it was gone for good. For almost a week.

So now we have to think about what to do.  Right now, I’m just sitting still.  I need to think. I need to weigh all options and just think.  And I have time to do it.  The cancer is small, and seems to be slow growing.  That gives me time to stop and think. We will do something eventually, but not just yet. Now it’s time to just think.

One thing I know for sure; cancer hasn’t stolen my ability to dream.